Trying to chill out after a performance. It always takes me awhile to be ready to sleep, even if it's hours past my usual bedtime. This will sound bizarre, but I swear that when I do standup, I can feel something like, I dunno, something like energy or something coming up through the floor and fueling my performance and I have to, like, consciously control it because there's so much of it. It is very very weird and creepy and exhilarating. And yes, you've had dates like that.

------

This afternoon I went clothes shopping because I have no appropriate work clothes for this time of year, given that current job's dress code is, while not formal, still significantly stricter than the dress code at my last job, which could be summed up as, "Don't be naked." Some guy was shopping with his wife in one of the stores, and she was trying on a jacket. "I don't think this size is right," she said.

"You need a bigger one," he said.
"No, I don't need a bigger one. This is too big."
"No, I think that would look better if it were bigger."
"This is a medium. I usually wear a small."
"I think you need a bigger size."
"No, this is too big."
"It's not big enough. You need a bigger one."

I couldn't believe how long that exchange continued. Even after a sales attendant got in on it, asking if she wanted a different size, the guy was still going, "Yes, have her try on a bigger size." It was clearly not a joke to either one of them--he was sure she needed a bigger jacket, and she was sure she was small.

I thought about offering him a shovel, but he seemed determined to dig a hole with his mouth. Granted, if his wife was a size small, then I guess I need to shop at Baby Gap for my jackets, which is only informative if you've seen me and know that I'm decidedly medium, but honestly, didn't he get a copy of the Guy Handbook?